“They will be home for dinner,” said Marilyn Cartwright, a GOTW spokeswoman, adding “The turkey’s gettin’ cold.”
GOTW has been enlisted in the past to end disputes across the world, including genocide in Rwanda. The group faced criticism for delaying their employment, because their stories were on.
As always, the time and location of their deployment is classified. But experts who have studied GOTW tactics believe combatants will feel a sharp pull on their earlobes sometime in the near future. Carl Brown, a professor of GOTW history at Columbia, explains.
“GOTW typically enlists a stereotypical looking grandmother with a rolling pin into the middle of hostile territory. Combatants are usually too surprised to act defensively before the operative is able to sink her claws into their ears. Think “Hurt Locker,” but far more terrifying.”
President Obama and Captain Picard have reiterated their support.
“Make it so.”