Despite the national trend bending in favor of same-sex marriage, voters in North Carolina have overwhelmingly supported a ban on allowing everyone to be happy. Honestly, I was a bit surprised as the results came trickling in showing it was likely the ban would pass. Don’t voters know their beloved basketball mascot – the Tar Heel – is named after a gay sex maneuver? One guy takes the other guy’s legs, puts them on his shoulders, shouts three Hail Mary’s and… Well, I’ll let you figure out the rest.
But the voters came out in droves to say, “No! We don’t want a majority of Americans to view our state in a positive light! It saves us the inconvenience of pausing CSI to explain to our kids why Susan has two dads picking her up from school.”
For same-sex couples and those who don’t care what others do in their private lives, it marks a sad defeat. For those who voted in favor of the ban and their supporters, it marks another shitty day in their shitty, arbitrarily mean existence.