Mitt Romney addressed the annual conference of the National Rifle Association yesterday in St. Louis. No shots were fired and nobody from the Obama administration was present to take their guns out of their cold, dead hands like the growing number of apocalyptic YouTube videos would have you believe.
Wayne Lapierre, Executive Vice President of the NRA, served to warm up the crowd of enthusiastic second amendment-ophiles by calling for just about everyone in the room with a heartbeat to stand – and stay standing – as the crowd applauded they’re patriotic brethren, group upon group, slowly lifting bums from seats one voting block at a time. Once everyone was presumably standing, Wayne introduced Mitt Romney. Lappiere had cleverly created a standing ovation of NRA members patting themselves on the back for being Americans that do things: how could Mitt lose? Every American does things and Mitt does things too. He can relate to everyone.
Speaking of Americans that do things, Anne Romney took a few minutes before her husband spoke to “give a shout out to working moms and dads,” presumably just in case anybody thought her defense of stay-at-home moms was actually an attack on working moms. Take that, democratic strategists: your plan to portray Ann as a working mother hater will no longer come to fruition. Ann also took time to remind us that “women are special,” as opposed to being a special interest group. There you have it women of America, stand up and be proud to be….special.
Continuing the special theme, Mitt Romney outlined his dream for a utopian America where second amendment rights are sacrosanct, the constitution will never bend to Justices, religious, economic and personal freedoms are protected, taxes are low and government is small. Sound like a place you already recognize? You must be a Liberal pig.
Mitt proceeded to paint a picture of Obama’s America where taxes and the government erode freedom, government regulation deadens the entrepreneurial spirit and citizens spend their lives filling out forms. I’d feel that way if I was a corporate lawyer or CEO too. Democracy can get in the way of people doing whatever the hell they like. Ballots still trump bills…I think.
“I will be a staunch defender of religious freedom,” Mitt told a cheering crowd. He went on to explain how the Obama administration tried to “mandate what Catholics cover in insurance plans” while “dictating on matters of conscience.” This left me wondering when Mitt will start walking backwards, to better reflect his thinking- who knows; he may even gain hindsight.