Unity! …Wait, what?
Apparently, according to the Ayatollah of Iran this whole debacle has proved that the Iranians are even more united in maintaining their Islamic revolution than ever before.
Say what!? Ayatollah, you crazy!
When the opposition is risking their lives in the midst of death threats, police brutality and various other forms of shakedowns, then there’s probably something wrong. The only “oppositional uprising” that’s occurred in the United States since President Obama’s election was a plethora of “Tea Parties” thrown by confused, middle aged white folk, which was immediately turned into a joke on late night TV. Probably because it was a bit of a joke itself, but I digress.
The Ayatollah went on to plead with the youth of the nation to lead more spiritual lives. Gosh, Mr. Supreme Leader! It sure does suck more than an infidel living a happy, secular life when your services are no longer required, doesn’t it?
Continuing his speech that could at best be described as a bit bleak, the Ayatollah blamed Western powers, such as the United States and Great Britain for casting doubt on the election results. Well Mr. Big-Shot Ayatollah, it’s kinda hard NOT to cast doubt when you see what we’ve seen in the media. Oh wait, you’ve covered that. It’s the “media belonging to Zionists, evil media,” that’s concocted this story. I guess it does make for great television.
THE REAL IRAN: Pilot – Transcript
Starring: Abou-Ali as the dorky but lovable guy, Avizeh as the smokin‘ hot love interest, and Behrouz as the political reformer who is subsequently jailed for his dissenting politics. He also smokes pot, and his catch phrase is, “Duuuuuuude! Chill out, Ayatollah!”
Tune in on Thursday nights for the comedic-dramatic-political show of the century! THE REAL IRAN will make you laugh and cry… cry for a revolution and governmental uprising, that is. This show has been praised by- END OF TRANSMISSION
THIS JUST IN! The Zionist program, THE REAL IRAN has been terminated effective immediately. Stay tuned for Iranian state media, the only place for news… literally… I mean, if we keep banning the other media outlets then we literally will be the only place for news. Go Iranian state media!
END OF TRANSCRIPT
Ayatollah, I think the real problem is that you’re the supreme leader of an Islamic Republic. Religious leaders have no place in government. They’re like oil and water if the oil condemned the water to eternal damnation. If there’s one thing we got right here in the United States, it’s our commitment for separation church and state, although we’re admittedly still fighting for that in some instances.
Second, no nation should include a religion in its name! “Islamic Republic” is as much an oxymoron as if we were the “Christian United States.” Declaring who’s welcome and who’s not in your nation’s name isn’t the greatest PR move, Mr. Ayatollah.
But what do I know! I’m just a part of that damn Zionist media! Everyone who defies you simply loves them some Jews! It has nothing to do with the fact that you’re denying true Democracy to the millions of your nation and blocking any avenue for challenging the establishment beyond the streets you condemn. Nope, it’s for the love of the Jews!
Mazal Tov, Ayatollah. Mazal Tov…